The Universal Pain of Grief

From Gaza’s genocide to Camp Mystic floods, the pain of losing a loved one is only made bearable by the outpouring of support, love and empathy. 

The day was July 4th, 2025, the 249th anniversary of “American Independence.” It was to be my last day in New York City after completing a 40 day Fast for Gaza, alongside other Veterans & Allies, which had ended a few days earlier.

A few lingering comrades and I had met up in the historic and story-filled Tompkins Square Park (which opened in 1834, a full 62 years prior to the advent of Zionism and 114 years prior to the metastasis of the white-settler-colonial state of Israel.) I was the second to last to arrive and was introduced to a young woman sitting next to our group on the adjacent bench.

She had an infectious, genuine smile reminiscent of so many of the Palestinians I had met in the West Bank just over two years prior. As a young child, she and her family had survived the American Invasion of Iraq and had since sought refuge in the country whose military had slaughtered hundreds of thousands of her innocent compatriots and demolished her country’s infrastructure. She briefly acknowledged these atrocities and I got the impression there was no desire to relive the excruciating pain that seemed too readily accessible. And the cruel irony: She shared her birthday with “America.”

It was just one of many serendipitous encounters I had experienced during my time in NYC. I say this from the perspective of a Marine Corps veteran who served prior to our illegal invasion of Iraq, but who remained brainwashed by American pride via bootcamp until I began deconstructing what I had been programmed to believe from the perspective of a descendant of “The Ole 300” original Texas Settlers; and from the perspective of someone who was born on “Texas Independence Day.”

As this 40-day chapter of my life was coming to a close, the pages instantly flipped back to an earlier chapter in my life. The news of the deadly floods in Texas began to trickle in. The floods that wiped away Camp Mystic, an all girls “Christian” camp, killing 28 young campers and counselors. The unforgiving July 4th weekend of floods killed well over 100 people in the Texas Hill Country.

I wept. I became nauseous and sick with heartache. I was heartbroken. The pain that parents, siblings and loved ones go through is real. Empathy and having experienced the loss of a loved one are what allow me to feel that pain … to remember it.

As young girls, my sisters were campers at Camp Mystic while I attended its “brother” camp, Stewart, not far away for one year in 1987, the year which saw the last deadly flood of the Guadalupe River, which claimed 10 lives. I remember going to Camp Mystic that year for at least one sanctioned dance, but also have numerous memories from multiple years of going to pick up my sisters from camp and watching their summer-end competitions and award ceremonies. So the losses hit close to home and they hit closer to home for my sisters, as they’ve stayed connected to that world.

But here’s the thing — since those 28 girls, counselors and the 99-year-old owner have been identified as flood victims, I have watched, read and felt communities pour out their hearts in support of the families, as it should be. It is what love commands us to do. That outpouring of grief and compassion have been reported in at least five articles in Al Jazeera.

However, in almost two years of a full-on genocide in Gaza, where a Harvard Report claims that 377,000 people, with over half being children, have disappeared, the Camp Mystic community and like-minded rich, white, conservative “Christians” have been silent and apathetic at best, and complicit at worst. Why, you may ask?<

Racist Programming

The two examples of racist programming I’m going to lay out won’t include the whitewashing of history that we Americans are taught in schools. The examples are from firsthand experiences both Camp Mystic and Camp Stewart.

At Camp Stewart, also known as a “Judeo-Christian” summer camp, owner Si Ragsdale, whose daughter Jane died in the recent floods, would pray before every meal as we mostly, if not all, white campers were seated at the tables in the mess hall surrounded by standing kitchen staff, who were mostly black. Upon completion of prayer, we were led to chant the following: 1, 2 3 – ROBERT E. LEE 3, 2, 1 – THE SOUTH SHOULD’VE WON. As a 9-year-old boy, I had little-to-no idea what that meant, but I can imagine what that must’ve felt like to be a member of that kitchen staff.

Now, let’s switch over to Camp Mystic’s racism. Camp Mystic divides their campers up into two tribes — the Kiowa and the Tonkawa — to have the campers compete against each other. I don’t think I need to break down how and why this is , especially from a descendant of the “Ole 300,” who systematically slaughtered, displaced and stole land from Native American tribes, Indigenous peoples who would go on to have a man-made border cross them, akin to the indigenous people of Palestine.

And so here I am, in the midst of two of my worlds colliding: My first world where I was brought up in an elitist, white supremacist, “Christian” Zionist community; and my second world, composed of progressive and loving humans who serve love, whether we be agnostic, atheist, Muslim, Jewish or true Christians. And this is what I witnessed and felt in that second world during our fast — people from groups like FOSNA, PAXChristi, Jewish Voice For Peace, CODEPINK, Veterans For Peace, alongside our Muslim siblings.

This was in the stark contrast to the false or part-time Christians or Jews who serve multiple masters of national, religious, racial or partisan pride. They love pride, while hating real brotherly love. Hypocritically and ironically, they seek the same type of love in the God they conceived in their own image in order to justify their deadly sin of idolatry — deadly to those who are excluded from their conditional love.

These Zionist “Christians” and “Jews” who are so quick to give their God credit for Israel being established in 1948 instead of accurately attributing it to sociopathic men and man-made borders. At the same time they absolve their God and their politicians from the floods that took the lives of precious children.

Nope … these aren’t Christians or Jews — they don’t apply the 10 Cmmandments to themselves or their country or even come close to living by them. These are white settler colonists who plant their flag wherever they go, narcissistically claiming God or land or whatever they covet, as their own. And it just goes to show that shallow people can only dig down so deep. Authority can slap the label of Israel or Christianity or The Patriot Act onto anything and it is accepted as truth as it further justifies the glass menagerie of a world they’ve created. Questioning their world would be too difficult to navigate. And as someone who has navigated the waters of revelation (Greek for unveiling) of truth after believing a world of lies, I can imagine their subconscious fear of drowning in those waters is real, as I almost did.

It takes courage in the face of fear to seek the truth; to take action and begin researching the truth without pride’s blinding lenses; to see the world clearly through the eyes of unconditional love — to see all children as children of God and to do whatever we can to not allow another child to be killed.

May the blessing/silver lining of the tragic July 4th floods be this: To soften hearts to take action; to be the mouth, hands and feet of God’s unconditional love; to love all children as if they were precious gifts as they are; to dissolve pride and return to love. And to recognize and realize that the pain of losing a loved one is only made bearable by the outpouring of support, love and empathy. And in instances where loss is preventable, or able to be lessened, to act accordingly and with immediacy to prevent the heart-wrenching pain of losing a loved one. Amen.